@lucy I tried to do the het dating thing once where you start by hooking up and and going from there but we didn't have enough in common to form a really close friendship and after the initial novelty wore off having sex with someone I had no feelings for was just really uncomfy
@lucy Also, like, most of the people I've had crushes on are monogamous and it would be unfair to them to try a relationship while I'm in love with my best friend
@mia@lucy dont think i cleanly fall into any of those categories, i think i have a mix of whatever those terrible symptoms are of flight, freeze and fawn.
@eemmaa@lucy yeah it’s sort of a spectrum and mixed types are a thing.
these are just fear responses and traits you end up with if you rely too much on one or two of them for trauma reasons.
fight/fawn for example will be excessively controlling and then switch to fawn when it looks like the relationship is failing. they become a completely different person who just does everything to please you because they’re terrified of abandonment
@mia@lucy@eemmaa idk if it's related but I've seen people flip the switch from something like "you all should kys" to "booohooo I'm so bad, everyone hates me" and then back again when shown enough pity and get themselves seen as the victim, all over some trivial shit like losing an internet argument. It's unreal how this used to fool me before I caught on.
@mischievoustomato@anemone@lucy I don’t honestly know how I’d respond to a clone of myself, very possibly I’d see it as an evil threat and wish to destroy it, but I don’t really know
@arcana@lucy@eemmaa generally it’s good to have all of these responses at your disposal. childhood trauma in particular often causes people to overuse one or two of them.
i for example often avoided conflict to my own detriment when it would have been reasonable and healthy to get angry and stand up for myself. lexi is the opposite of that and often controlled me with guilt and moral distress, intentionally or not, and she’s terrified of things she cannot predict and control (no wonder she’s a tankie lol). really bad combination, we’ve just constantly been triggering each other without even realizing
@lucy i'm improving myself little by little, at the same time I wanna make sure that I don't rush things/date someone out of desperation, and well, I don't have a crush or an interest to work towards conquering
@lucy@anemone@arcana@tiskaan neither. I don't think sex with a clone of yourself is incest personally, because you are after all having sex with yourself not a family member or relative. it's not masturbation either as it's another human.
@arcana@anemone@lucy@tiskaan like if youre having sex with your sibling you're satisfying another person and they're satisfying you. having sex with a clone of yourself on the other hand is satisfying the greater idea of "You" and therefore I believe it fills a different category in the sexual deviancy spectrum
@arcana@anemone@lucy@tiskaan i disagree. it's defined by ancestry and familial line. do you think if someone who by completely random chance, like a million ancestors away from you, has the exact same genes and is basically a clone of you appeared in front of you and proceeded to have sex with you, would that be incest?
@arcana@anemone@mischievoustomato@lucy I think the main concern with a clone is that the clone would have the exact same memories and body as you, so it would think that it was actually the first and the one who you were cloned from. for all it's concerned, you were cloned from it. that's what it remembers. it'll insist along with you that you were actually the clone. this can be a source of conflict but I think if you united your goals you'd be like "okay, now we're two. doesn't matter who's the clone"
@cell@lucy yeah I've also basically come to the conclusion I'll have to do it myself and stabilize myself back to how i used to be, it'd be nice to have a partner in crime to help out with that shit though
@cell@lucy a pointless hope for me especially in this state. not for you imo, I think you've got the warmth and straight up rizz to find someone that clicks with you
@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz I'm happier being single because committed relationships tend to cost a lot of energy and time for me.
In general partners tend to have a lot of needs and expectations, that I personally do not need to be content in a relationship. So the balance of what I have to put in vs. what I get out of it make it not worth it for me.
Finding a partner where having relationship sounds actually mutually beneficial is not easy for me.
@adachi@lucy@david Never happened. Nothing ever happened in Soho nigga all that happened was some weird twinks asked me if I'm 18 after I exited the club idk what that was about
@VIPPER@adachi@lucy there was one in spain that was honestly such a sweet person she knew english and tried to help out but i just froze up (didnt expect this would happen)
@phnt@lucy@david@meso It is peak internet brainrot to associate an animated character with a user online who uses that avatar. Only course correction: Watch Watamote and read up to the current chapter
@meso@adachi@lucy Next time it happens, all you can do is force yourself to act. If someone likes you they won't mind you fumbling here and there as long as you don't withdraw, keep that in mind.
@adachi@VIPPER@lucy no she was smart cuz she moved to spain a couple years prior and knew english on a similar level to me so we couldve gotten along pretty well and being in spain wouldnt have been a nightmare
@eemmaa@lucy@david@meso aren't girls with disorders easier to control and abuse, that would be better for me since i could make her reliant on me thus she would never leave me
@adachi@eemmaa@david@lucy this bitch is probably an unironic femcel cuz anyone with a brain knows this bitch has danger written all over her and her room
@adachi@lucy@david@meso It is peak weeb brainrot to know that. I'm sorry I don't have the mental capacity to remember what random anime characters are behind random user avatars, nor do I have the interest to really know.
@meso@david@lucy no no u got it all wrong they are pretending to be gay to milk all of those rich queer organizations from the EU for all of their money
@lucy@eemmaa@adachi@david@meso@mia no thats much meaner than anything i say to you i just call you a hon and to kys that would be preferred to this rudeness of yours
