@grey @BigDuck In The Graysonian Ethic, I have a substantial chapter about attraction and meeting people -- ultimately it turned out to be women, since we had a son. The advice I give regarding online dating was fitting here:
"My generation and likely many of the generations after me have made a critical mistake. We gave too much of our lives to the Internet. I would like to propose a theorem: “people online tend to stay online, and people in real life tend to stay in real life”. A lot of people my age have made the mistake of thinking that the Internet is a replacement for real life. The friends you meet online may be fantastic, but they are not your real-life friends. You can have 1200 people on your Facebook, but no one to help you move a couch or to go camping with or to head to the bar. There is a distinct difference between the Internet and the real world, and if you are not careful you will end up deeply depressed because despite all of this social interaction in the virtual realm, you are completely alone at home. Something similar goes for Internet dating. There are definitely stories out there of people who have met their soulmate through Internet dating. There are also people who are in the top 1% of attractiveness who can constantly go out and find people to go on dates with. Particularly if you are a man, however; do not get sucked in by the hype. The juice is not worth the squeeze. You can end up spending hours and hours and hours typing with people, and maybe that person who's made up of words and carefully constructed paragraphs is someone that you think that you would really like, but then you meet and there is just no chemistry. You cannot measure chemistry online, and frankly most people cannot get across why they are amazing to be with in the real world using an online dating profile. There is a massive market out there, but the market is not what it looks like. It is like walking into a luxury store and seeing all the goods and assuming that you can get them, but then you open up your wallet and it is empty, and in spite of all of the amazing things in front of you; they are not really marketed to you and you cannot walk out of that store with anything."
"My generation and likely many of the generations after me have made a critical mistake. We gave too much of our lives to the Internet. I would like to propose a theorem: “people online tend to stay online, and people in real life tend to stay in real life”. A lot of people my age have made the mistake of thinking that the Internet is a replacement for real life. The friends you meet online may be fantastic, but they are not your real-life friends. You can have 1200 people on your Facebook, but no one to help you move a couch or to go camping with or to head to the bar. There is a distinct difference between the Internet and the real world, and if you are not careful you will end up deeply depressed because despite all of this social interaction in the virtual realm, you are completely alone at home. Something similar goes for Internet dating. There are definitely stories out there of people who have met their soulmate through Internet dating. There are also people who are in the top 1% of attractiveness who can constantly go out and find people to go on dates with. Particularly if you are a man, however; do not get sucked in by the hype. The juice is not worth the squeeze. You can end up spending hours and hours and hours typing with people, and maybe that person who's made up of words and carefully constructed paragraphs is someone that you think that you would really like, but then you meet and there is just no chemistry. You cannot measure chemistry online, and frankly most people cannot get across why they are amazing to be with in the real world using an online dating profile. There is a massive market out there, but the market is not what it looks like. It is like walking into a luxury store and seeing all the goods and assuming that you can get them, but then you open up your wallet and it is empty, and in spite of all of the amazing things in front of you; they are not really marketed to you and you cannot walk out of that store with anything."
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