Thought I hit send on my reply here...
Imagine you have two hallways with 200,000 doors ahead of you.
In each hallway, there's a pot of gold.
In the first hallway, like 99% of the doors are locked. Any door that is unlocked but doesn't have the pot of gold has a little prize, like a piece of candy.
In the second hallway, most of the doors are unlocked. Same as before, there's a consolation prize in the unlocked doors.
Put a man in the first hallway, and a woman in the second hallway. The man ends up able to completely bypass many of the doors because they're locked, but spends a lot of time without even a consolation prize. The woman ends up having to open and investigate most of the doors, and ends up piling up all these consolation prizes.
If they are both looking for the pot of gold, each would consider the other to be living in a spot with greener grass. The man would look at the woman at least tripping over consolation prizes, but the woman would look at the man and not wasting time opening doors to get yet another consolation prize because who actually wants 199,999 consolation prizes?
In some ways, it comes out in the wash.
Imagine you have two hallways with 200,000 doors ahead of you.
In each hallway, there's a pot of gold.
In the first hallway, like 99% of the doors are locked. Any door that is unlocked but doesn't have the pot of gold has a little prize, like a piece of candy.
In the second hallway, most of the doors are unlocked. Same as before, there's a consolation prize in the unlocked doors.
Put a man in the first hallway, and a woman in the second hallway. The man ends up able to completely bypass many of the doors because they're locked, but spends a lot of time without even a consolation prize. The woman ends up having to open and investigate most of the doors, and ends up piling up all these consolation prizes.
If they are both looking for the pot of gold, each would consider the other to be living in a spot with greener grass. The man would look at the woman at least tripping over consolation prizes, but the woman would look at the man and not wasting time opening doors to get yet another consolation prize because who actually wants 199,999 consolation prizes?
In some ways, it comes out in the wash.
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They aren't specifically envious of the men, but they know something is wrong and that they're getting fucked by having a bunch of guys who aren't interested in the pot of gold wandering up and going "Can I be your consolation prize tonight, baby?"