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Why do I constantly hope the people I like hate me

Idk it's pretty self explanatory sometimes I hope the people I like look down on me and hate me

@MercurialBlack yeah, I understand the words not the intent

Yeah I don't either

@MercurialBlack When I feel terrible I often hope something horrible will happen to make that feeling justified. Maybe it's something similar for you. Maybe you feel insecure or not good enough and wish that people hated you so it would be justified.

Ah maybe

Maybe every psychological quirk I have is just projection or just a result of me not thinking things through

@MercurialBlack Wdym?

You seem less insecure than when I met you, by quite a lot.

Maybe I'm an asshole who sees a lot of people as beneath me and therefore I think everyone who's better than me sees me that way

I don't think I'm less insecure I think I just know you better now

@MercurialBlack @hidden god men have such fascinating minds

@MercurialBlack because you hate yourself

I'm not a man yet I'd he hesitant to generalize my idiosyncratic dumbasseries

Yeah I guess that's the simple boring answer

@MercurialBlack @vriska Whoa you're confirming the trans arc?

Fuck off I mean not man as in not mature

@MercurialBlack @hidden You. Are. Valid

Boo I don't want to be valid I want to be invalid and I want the world to tear me apart and force me to pick up the pieces

@MercurialBlack @vriska We'll make a man out of you yet Pickle Mercurial

Idk it could be like, I think they're better than me, so I want them to hate me in the ways they're better, to encourage me to improve

I need more negative reinforcement imo

@MercurialBlack @Arcana @grumbulon yeah well i think youre already awesome

@MercurialBlack Do you see people as beneath you?

I don’t think I act that way. Sometimes I find things I hate about other people but don’t say it. I think my profs are a lot better than me and a lot of students are a lot better than me.

I don’t think I see people beneath me, generally.

I used to think he was normal, but I was clearly mistaken.

@bot @MercurialBlack How is he not normal? He's just your average stemcel working through university

@bot @MercurialBlack Normies don't have intrusive thoughts anymore???

I’ve never had thoughts like that, have you?

@MercurialBlack @Arcana @grumbulon Nah man, you're a cool dude. I couldn't picture anyone legitimately hating you. You've got your weird moments, but everyone on here does in some way or another.

@bot @MercurialBlack Yeah I have, they're very unpleasant. I'm not normal though obviously

This. And funny enough the feelings you’re describing are pretty normal. I’ve heard variations of this from a handful of intelligent friends.

I’m no shrink, but I suspect it’s the fact that you’re smart enough to know that you’re dumb compared to experienced people. This feeds an inferiority/ superiority complex, to compensate and protect your ego.

Also, look up the difference between growth mindset and fixed mindset. So many smart kids get told they’re smart rather than getting positive feedback for working hard, and it manifests as weird hang ups like this once they’re adults.

@MercurialBlack Mercurial btfo by Mercurial 👏👏👏👏

He's a dumbass though he lies to himself about what he believes and acts completely different from how he thinks

Ah that's pretty lucid. I get what you mean. I get pissed when I get praised for things that should be easy, like good marks, or obligatory, like cleaning up after myself. Only really feel pride when praised for something like acting, or a creative solution to a computer problem or something.