One thing many people say to me is that all kids are different, and as one of 6 kids I tend to agree. It's amazing how different the outcomes can be from very similar beginnings.
There might be alternatives to spanking, and they might work really well for some kids. But there might be kids who need some physical reinforcement. Until the vague concept of "a child" with all its superpositions of what a child could be collapses into "the child in front of you right now" you can't know exactly what will or won't work.
That said, it's something you have to be careful of because the purpose of any discipline is not to make the parent feel better, but to try to help the child in the long run. One of the dangers of using pain as a disciplinary tool is there's always a risk of misusing it or using it instead of better tools for the job because it feel better in a moment of negative emotion from the parent.
There might be alternatives to spanking, and they might work really well for some kids. But there might be kids who need some physical reinforcement. Until the vague concept of "a child" with all its superpositions of what a child could be collapses into "the child in front of you right now" you can't know exactly what will or won't work.
That said, it's something you have to be careful of because the purpose of any discipline is not to make the parent feel better, but to try to help the child in the long run. One of the dangers of using pain as a disciplinary tool is there's always a risk of misusing it or using it instead of better tools for the job because it feel better in a moment of negative emotion from the parent.
Thankfully, the superposition collapsed for me with a son who responds to positive and negative reinforcement that doesn't require anything physical.
I think if I ended up in that hypothetical scenario where he did need that.... I dunno, might just let the little guy grow up to be a serial killer and just act dumb...
I think if I ended up in that hypothetical scenario where he did need that.... I dunno, might just let the little guy grow up to be a serial killer and just act dumb...
Definitely the dangerous thing about that. Using "discipline" as an excuse for their own lack of discipline.
Not a lot of people implementing consistent rules and routines with positive feedback for success out of frustration.
"Listen here boy! I'm gonna come back there and give you the same fair and reasonable bedtime every night with a standard bedtime routine you come to recognise and follow. That'll learn you, you little bastard!"
Not a lot of people implementing consistent rules and routines with positive feedback for success out of frustration.
"Listen here boy! I'm gonna come back there and give you the same fair and reasonable bedtime every night with a standard bedtime routine you come to recognise and follow. That'll learn you, you little bastard!"
At any rate, I think three men having discussions about positive parenting strategies is a good indication that we all would, will, or are engaging in careful and thoughtful masculine parenting of our children which all the literature shows is overwhelmingly important to outcomes. The likelihood that you end up with some hypothetical nightmare menace of a child who only understands a strap is really negligible, but the likelihood that playing a positive and active role in your child's life will have extraordinary positive impacts on their lives is near 100%, and the statistics don't lie, being that kind of father will prevent your kids from getting a bad end more than almost anything else you can do.