What I eventually found is that the Internet really isn't a great place to find people to hang with IRL for any purpose. People online tend to stay online, people irl tend to stay irl, and online when it comes to dating you've only got a couple very narrow avenues to get someone interested in you.
That often cited OKCupid data shows that women are only really interested in the top 1% of men online, so if you're not in that you're really putting in a lot of extra effort for what might not be a cost-effective method.
If you look at real-world women, often they have sex with the men around them. In some friend groups, everyone's at some point had sex with everyone else (probably not wife material, but that's not my point) but rarely from people outside their group. In my case, it became clear the smartest thing was to make friends, especially with women. Even non-sexual friendships because women know women, and women want their friends to be happy, and if they know two people who might hit it off, they'll act as a matchmaker which is thousands of times more likely to work out in good outcomes than to be a random face in a lineup.
I ended up meeting my wife through a woman who was my platonic friend.
That often cited OKCupid data shows that women are only really interested in the top 1% of men online, so if you're not in that you're really putting in a lot of extra effort for what might not be a cost-effective method.
If you look at real-world women, often they have sex with the men around them. In some friend groups, everyone's at some point had sex with everyone else (probably not wife material, but that's not my point) but rarely from people outside their group. In my case, it became clear the smartest thing was to make friends, especially with women. Even non-sexual friendships because women know women, and women want their friends to be happy, and if they know two people who might hit it off, they'll act as a matchmaker which is thousands of times more likely to work out in good outcomes than to be a random face in a lineup.
I ended up meeting my wife through a woman who was my platonic friend.
The first step is to make plans to go out and do stuff. Especially stuff that has something to do with other people(doesn't have to be people you know). You should strive to always have some sort of plans going on. Once you start looking it becomes clear there's a lot of stuff you can do whatever your budget range.
Step 1 by itself can cause things to start happening. I ended up having some crazy times just by going out a couple times (the thing you never know is which times are going to be the things that pay off). I met the friend who introduced me to my wife by having tea with my land lady (who had a granddaughter). The granddaughter ended up going on a bunch of adventures with me and I met a bunch of women through her. Another time I went to the bar (and I'm the opposite of a bar guy) and it resulted in some crazy times with like 3 girls just because I was there and I was new. I think I said something to this girl in a crowded line in front of me like "Hey! Personal space!" and she thought that was hilarious and we ended up hanging out.
If you're going out and not really connecting with anyone, the next step becomes to strike up a conversation. With who? Well, not with the hottest girl in the room if you're reading this advice! You find the most nonthreatening people in the room, like an old couple or something and usually you just ask something or comment on something. Sometimes something that simple can start some crazy stuff up. Last week I was getting my tires changed, and in the waiting room I ended up chatting with a couple people for hours (how long does it take to put on some bloody tires?!) and learned a lot about them because we were stuck there anyway and had some stuff to talk about.
Opportunity is the father of invention, and the only way you're going to achieve the things you want is to try to create opportunities. Along the way you start to realize you're having the adventure of your life. :)
Step 1 by itself can cause things to start happening. I ended up having some crazy times just by going out a couple times (the thing you never know is which times are going to be the things that pay off). I met the friend who introduced me to my wife by having tea with my land lady (who had a granddaughter). The granddaughter ended up going on a bunch of adventures with me and I met a bunch of women through her. Another time I went to the bar (and I'm the opposite of a bar guy) and it resulted in some crazy times with like 3 girls just because I was there and I was new. I think I said something to this girl in a crowded line in front of me like "Hey! Personal space!" and she thought that was hilarious and we ended up hanging out.
If you're going out and not really connecting with anyone, the next step becomes to strike up a conversation. With who? Well, not with the hottest girl in the room if you're reading this advice! You find the most nonthreatening people in the room, like an old couple or something and usually you just ask something or comment on something. Sometimes something that simple can start some crazy stuff up. Last week I was getting my tires changed, and in the waiting room I ended up chatting with a couple people for hours (how long does it take to put on some bloody tires?!) and learned a lot about them because we were stuck there anyway and had some stuff to talk about.
Opportunity is the father of invention, and the only way you're going to achieve the things you want is to try to create opportunities. Along the way you start to realize you're having the adventure of your life. :)
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When I was building my life, I didn't have anyone to make plans with -- I was in a city I'd just moved to that didn't have anyone I knew within an 8 hour drive, I made plans with myself. "I'm going to this thing. If you want to tag along that's ok, but I'm going either way"
Nobody is coming to save you. You can only save yourself.
Nobody is coming to save you. You can only save yourself.