The first thing you need to give up as a parent is your postmodern eye for looking at hidden meaning in everything you say or do.
For one, you realize that being a good parent throws death flags all over the place. Being living and attentive? Basically saying it's the last day before retirement on a cop show, you're doomed! (But you're no more doomed than anyone else, life isn't a TV show)
For another, being a parent means you're doing shit that sounds inherently sus. As a parent if youre not touching a baby's butthole on the reg you're not doing your job and it's only weird if you make it weird.
Finally, life isn't reddit you can't spend an hour thinking of the perfect thing to say, so you sometimes gotta just wing it and hope it sounds ok. You don't have time to pass everything you say through a convoluted postmodern filter to make sure it follows all the rules of subversion and deconstruction.
In some ways it's a marked improvement in your life.
For one, you realize that being a good parent throws death flags all over the place. Being living and attentive? Basically saying it's the last day before retirement on a cop show, you're doomed! (But you're no more doomed than anyone else, life isn't a TV show)
For another, being a parent means you're doing shit that sounds inherently sus. As a parent if youre not touching a baby's butthole on the reg you're not doing your job and it's only weird if you make it weird.
Finally, life isn't reddit you can't spend an hour thinking of the perfect thing to say, so you sometimes gotta just wing it and hope it sounds ok. You don't have time to pass everything you say through a convoluted postmodern filter to make sure it follows all the rules of subversion and deconstruction.
In some ways it's a marked improvement in your life.
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