Thinking about it, I wonder if part of the reason we're not having kids is that we're often stuck in an extended childhood, and the reason for that is western society took our collective wisdom and threw it away.
We used to know marriage was something worth striving for, but then we threw it away because marriage is bad since you can get hurt in a divorce.
We used to know having kids was something worth striving for, but we threw it away because they're expensive and the world is going to end in a million years and life is suffering.
We used to know community was something worth striving for, but we threw it away because you might not like the people in your community and they might judge you.
In order to destroy this wisdom, and some of it is self-evident wisdom, you have to throw up hard barriers. You can't just forget it, you need to reject it. Postmodern western civilization did reject all these things and much more. It's no wonder that the whole of our lives exist in the pop culture era, and future generations are having to re-learn the wisdom that was self-evident only a few generations ago.
Our bodies and minds are evolved solely to help us survive and replicate, and we have rejected many of the instincts because we're supposedly enlightened and far past that, but in its place many people have left essentially nothing, and the truth has always been that if you're a nihilist, there's no reason not to just lay flat and let the world reclaim you into dust, and many people are doing exactly that with their lives.
I've learned that this rejection is wrong in my life. I didn't think I'd ever have any of the things that matter. I didn't think I'd find a wife. I didn't think I'd own a home. I didn't think I'd have a child. And I thought when I was young that I wouldn't want any of those things anyway. But I was wrong and learning I was wrong has been delightful.
Being married filled a hole in my heart I never knew I had, and people will scoff and go "Oh what a loser he needs a woman to feel complete", but I do and I'm unashamed of that. My wife is my partner and thank God for her coming into my life. Having a son has filled my life with meaning and purpose in a way I simply didn't have just a few years ago -- I looked around and thought "Oh, I'll be paid off on my house, and then I can retire, and then I can die" and what a sad thing that was. Again, some people will scoff and go "Oh what a loser he needs a child to feel complete", but I do and I'm unashamed of that. In my growing son I see myself, and I see my wife, and I see someone else who is neither of us but has grown in the culture we've created for him into a smart, hilarious, clever, interesting little guy. I won't say owning a home has filled a hole in my heart, but there's something primal about having a spot that isn't the place you stay, it's yours. I rented for a long time, and you are always aware of the fact that you are in a place that belongs to someone else that you are borrowing (for money), and it does change the way you act. What else has been lost in the postmodern generations? What might we never recover fully?
And rejecting these things as things that might make you happy in life is I think part of the reason we're unhappier than ever despite being richer in many ways, and also why we're looking at such low birth rates.
We used to know marriage was something worth striving for, but then we threw it away because marriage is bad since you can get hurt in a divorce.
We used to know having kids was something worth striving for, but we threw it away because they're expensive and the world is going to end in a million years and life is suffering.
We used to know community was something worth striving for, but we threw it away because you might not like the people in your community and they might judge you.
In order to destroy this wisdom, and some of it is self-evident wisdom, you have to throw up hard barriers. You can't just forget it, you need to reject it. Postmodern western civilization did reject all these things and much more. It's no wonder that the whole of our lives exist in the pop culture era, and future generations are having to re-learn the wisdom that was self-evident only a few generations ago.
Our bodies and minds are evolved solely to help us survive and replicate, and we have rejected many of the instincts because we're supposedly enlightened and far past that, but in its place many people have left essentially nothing, and the truth has always been that if you're a nihilist, there's no reason not to just lay flat and let the world reclaim you into dust, and many people are doing exactly that with their lives.
I've learned that this rejection is wrong in my life. I didn't think I'd ever have any of the things that matter. I didn't think I'd find a wife. I didn't think I'd own a home. I didn't think I'd have a child. And I thought when I was young that I wouldn't want any of those things anyway. But I was wrong and learning I was wrong has been delightful.
Being married filled a hole in my heart I never knew I had, and people will scoff and go "Oh what a loser he needs a woman to feel complete", but I do and I'm unashamed of that. My wife is my partner and thank God for her coming into my life. Having a son has filled my life with meaning and purpose in a way I simply didn't have just a few years ago -- I looked around and thought "Oh, I'll be paid off on my house, and then I can retire, and then I can die" and what a sad thing that was. Again, some people will scoff and go "Oh what a loser he needs a child to feel complete", but I do and I'm unashamed of that. In my growing son I see myself, and I see my wife, and I see someone else who is neither of us but has grown in the culture we've created for him into a smart, hilarious, clever, interesting little guy. I won't say owning a home has filled a hole in my heart, but there's something primal about having a spot that isn't the place you stay, it's yours. I rented for a long time, and you are always aware of the fact that you are in a place that belongs to someone else that you are borrowing (for money), and it does change the way you act. What else has been lost in the postmodern generations? What might we never recover fully?
And rejecting these things as things that might make you happy in life is I think part of the reason we're unhappier than ever despite being richer in many ways, and also why we're looking at such low birth rates.
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