FBXL Social

I really don't like these establishment fucks. But I also don't like the people who promote unjustified violence.
What do I do?

Really? So what violence do I consider unjustified that you consider justified, and why?

Why?
Which traditions?

I like how the idea of learning to be more attractive to women is put into the same category as armed militias.

Seems like if you had to register anything that could be used as a lethal weapon you'd be doing nothing but filling out paperwork all day. "Found a rock with a sharp edge while digging in the garden, took a walk to the government weapons center"

"Dropped a plate, shattered into a thousand pieces. Spent the next week cataloguing shards for the lethal weapon registry"

Pretty sure it's just a meme. :P

One thing the extreme nazi extremists in the pick-up arts community found is that if you buy a really cool car, it'll attract men and not women. I feel like registering your fists as lethal weapons might similarly get you attention, but not from women.

Careful with those! Trigger disciplines on those guns, my dude!

That's where I see pick-up arts as a path away from becoming an incel. Yeah, you can look cringe while you're trying to hit on women unsuccessfully, but fundamental idea is that the reason you're not successful with women isn't that you just don't have a certain skill set rather than because there's something fundamentally unattractive about you that can't be solved because you are God's chosen failure.

It helped me, so I can't agree entirely.

I'm a driven professional, so I didn't date in high school or college because I was focused on my goals. I just didn't develop those skills, and it was really frustrating when I finally got on my feet and wanted to move on with the parts of my life requiring more soft skills. I found the materials by accident and they helped connect a lot of things I already knew and dispel things I was mistaken about in part because of mass media. It helped me to get out of my comfort zone, and one of the nights I went out I ended up on a path that would eventually lead to my marriage and my son.

The dehumanizing parts of the pick-up arts aren't about the women, they're about understanding that men have emotions and despite the act many men are fragile and terrified of rejection. Getting rejected by a woman is traumatic -- at one point in history in the 50 person society, it could mean the end of your life or the end of your bloodline, and yet to become any good with women you need to just get used to it. There needs to be some tools to deal with the fact that you're going to approach someone you think you'd really really like knowing that there's a massive chance you're going to screw it up and get rejected.

I can't disagree that there's a lot of people trying to get more money. Even when you watch the videos of the seminars, a lot of it is just shilling the next one. That's where you need to come in, take what you need, and get out. It may be a "community", but it's like water wings -- before too long you take them off because you've learned how to swim without them and they start holding you back.

One of the key things about the pick-up arts is that it isn't about "deserve". There are lots of deserving guys out there who don't get the girl and lots of undeserving guys out there who do. The difference is who knows how to be attractive and who doesn't. It's a tool, and the character of the use of the tool depends on the character of the person using the tool.

Ironically, I do have a book, and attraction is one of the chapters (of many).

I start off with a lengthy warning about the dangers, that you can mess up your life if you thoughtlessly go messing around.

Then I talk a lot about evolution and our place in the universe. I talk about the fact that we developed from a 50 person society and that our fears are inherited from there, and that those concerns aren't accurate today.

Next, I talk about the dangers of becoming more attractive to yourself instead of to the person you want to be attracted to. There's (cishet) men who become the perfect women and (cishet) women who try to become the perfect man, and that's stupid. Heterosexual men are attracted to one thing and heterosexual women are attracted to another.

Then I go through the old "find, meet, attract, close" framework with an emphasis on examples.

I talk a lot about calibration and by extension consent. All that leads into a discussion on oneitis and putting someone on a pedestal passively instead of just pulling the trigger and either being accepted or rejected. Then I tell stories about target fixation and the bad stuff that comes from that.

Then I point out that dating is a 2 way street, and you're trying to find out if you like her just as she's trying to find out if she likes you, it's not just a robotic drive to be accepted.

I spend a lot of time talking about what men and women find attractive and busting the myth that you must be an Adonis or Adonette to find love, and the realities of what it's like to be a beautiful woman. That's an eye opener for lots of men.

Then more warnings. Be careful to calibrate and get consent each step of the way. Careful of narcissists, or borderlinesz or people who are fun but dangerous, or perpetual victims. But then I point out it's not all bad and there are diamonds in the rough out there. Since the book is to my son, I talk about his mother. That leads into a discussion of economics applied to dating (remember I've said some economics isn't about money?)

I actually do warn as you've said about pick up artists and dating coaches taking your money long after you don't need them anymore, and that you need to remember to be yourself and not a pua robot.

I end the chapter warning that picking up women shouldn't be the point of your existence. It can make you temporarily happy always having a new girl hanging off your arm, maybe even into your 30s, 40s, 50s, but soon you're just the old guy who banged a lot of women (or the old lady who banged a lot of men) and this idea refers back to two chapters that I think are the core of the book, about building something real and thinking ahead about your life and death.

So yeah, no strange nlp hypnosis stuff, just some basic ideas and advice that I think could help get started so you're not stuck in incel mode waiting for the universe to provide you a girlfriend for your positive karma...

Define support. Most of the men I've helped had to put themselves in gear more than anything, and stop thinking there was something else or someone else that was going to do it for them.

The best way to show you intend to succeed is to have some idea of what comes next afterwards. Very few people are actually incels once you cast off the chains that keep them from their potential.

It's funny because in my view, this still comes back to the fact that you have to work on yourself. It's a choice to become that person.

Economics means a lot more than just money, and this is another case where economics can be a lens through which to view something. Why would someone support you? Of course the world isn't digital, so it isn't like there's any one switch you throw to answer that, but you'd support someone else because you think there's value in doing so.

I've been on the wrong side of too many "oh hes a single man he's evil and just wants one thing", and it sucks. But life is hard and reality is there's a lot of men like that out there. There's a lot of liars and used car salesmen, lots of people who will promise one thing and deliver another. Lots of single mothers out there who were duped.

And you know, you can get that support by being attractive in ways too. Of course different people are seeking different things. Some people want to see their friends happy. Some people want to feel like they've helped someone who is a good person. Some people can't really be understood so logically. But there is something there, a feeling in their gut.

So that's another reason why you work to build something, be intelligent, learn wisdom, be virtuous, be interesting, and bravely push yourself out of your comfort zone despite millions of years of primate socialisation in our DNA telling you not to.

Or not. Whatever.

It has to be a game, and a game you either play correctly or incorrectly, and if she rejects you it's just because you weren't playing correctly and it's not because you're a fundamentally loathsome creature who will never know love and you need to just accept you're not a chad and you'll never meet a girl who likes you.

If I didn't stop thinking about how scared I was and just make a silly joke about personal space to a cute girl in line at crowded bar one time, I never would have set off a chain of events that would ended with my long happy marriage and beautiful son.

Along the way I did get rejected sometimes, occasionally by girls I'd really started to get to know and like, maybe even girls I'd started to get physical with. It hurt worse than getting punched in the gut. There were some serious times I just wanted to crawl in the corner and die. You need to tell yourself *something* so you will take that pain and get back up and try again and not take it personally. So you say it's a game and you lost but you'll do better next time.

Ah, I see.

I can relate. When I started to push back and change my circumstances after college, I hadn't even been on a date, or held a girl's hand, or anything of the sort since grade school. And there I was, all alone in a strange city far from nowhere.

Other people have a different idea of "justified" to me.